En la dimensión internAZional del actual problema sentimental, o, haciendo más amigos (ya verán con el alemán), o, mi propia: Canción para ligar

Ante briosas columnas delatoras, embellecidas formas griegas, hago ignominioso juramento kafkiano: lacerador mortificante; no obstante perjuro que rápido sucumbiría toda una vislumbrada Walhalla por Yehová, zalameramente.

Versión prosaica ampliada a la vez que simplificada, para estudiantes angloparlantes del castellano (a mis lectores hispanohablantes huelga cualquier aclaración, porque además son ustedes muy inteligentes):

I mean to say that, all the beautiful and graceful women that I should meet thereabouts will be rejected stoically, though this comes to sound absurd, but nonetheless this, particularities of the sick, I, metaphorically God (no offense please), could ruin again the promised and wished paradise without doubting, cunningly, with all kinds of selfish affectations in order to my own justification. I'm quite sure this is perfectly possible to happen in the future days, but I swear that it's the last thing I need or want right now.
I just can't give any guarantees other than my poems, to my sweet, now vanishing, love.